I am River’s mommy but I am not quite sure if I am already qualified to be greeted “Happy Mother’s Day.” I have yet to hold River in my arms and I look forward to that day. 🙂 No one is calling me “Mommy” yet, so maybe it’s presumptuous of me to count myself in the mommy club.
My husband was teasing me that I should stand up during that portion of the worship service in our church wherein all mothers are recognized and be part of the group photo of mommies. This is done yearly and he knows how uncomfortable I was for the past years about this because aside from the fact that it would make me wish to be a mom soon…
(1) One time, someone came up to us after the Mother’s Day worship service sounding concerned for me because he knew how I longed to have a baby. Appreciate his concern but his unsolicited encouragement – on having a baby doesn’t make a family complete, that husband and wife even without children are already a family, that God will give us a baby in His time – was kind of awkward and didn’t really make me feel better.
(2) Just last year, there was an extra set of gifts for mothers, really nice well-thought of gifts, and I was given one set too. I politely declined because I was not even pregnant then, and was going through treatment, but she insisted, saying I’m considered a mom to a small group I am handling. She didn’t know but I took offense of that gesture. Why give that one extra set to me and not other ladies without children who are also handling small groups? Was she pitying me? Maybe she felt that it was showing support and encouragement to me, but again, I couldn’t help but be offended. I felt like she was adding salt to the injury, and of course, she didn’t know how women struggling with infertility could be offended or be sensitive about the “consolation” giveaway. Yes, I am 100% sure that she meant well, but then again, totally not helpful at all.
I didn’t realize how Mother’s Day can actually be a sad or even depressing day for someone longing to be a mom, trying to conceive for years, until I myself was faced with infertility. I thought about friends who are struggling with infertility too and pray for them. There’s nothing I can tell them really. Based on experience, whatever people who meant well say or do something, I would tend to take it in a negative away. Mother’s Day is definitely a sad day also for those who have lost their moms. I think that the latter is sadder.
But then looking at the bright side – I have all the reason to celebrate mother’s day because I have the greatest mom, who may not be perfect, but loves me the best way she knows how. And I am blessed with a loving mother-in-law too 🙂
Back to my husband’s teasing – I said, no, I won’t stand up, and if he thought I should and be recognized on Mother’s Day, he better be ready for a gift for me. Case closed, because he said he did not have any plan to give me a gift, so we both agreed I shouldn’t stand up. He seems cool about Father’s Day over the years. (By then River will be out already). Ladies are really just oversensitive and emotional, I guess.
But in the end, I was convinced to join my first ever group photo with the rest of the mothers. I was the only one pregnant in the group. Happy Mother’s Day to me then! 🙂
At most 30 days to go before River comes, my countdown to 40 weeks says. At most, 30 more injections left. Or at least about 2 weeks more. The Innohep injections are getting more painful and bloody, probably because my skin around the belly is tighter now. I dread doing the injections and put it off at times until I’ve forgotten about it. Maybe in the past month, I missed 2 days. But I almost never skipped any before that. I am reminded to always pray every time I do the injection. And talk to River also to stay calm. (No, the injection doesn’t hurt him at all, but I’m thinking he can feel my uneasiness and discomfort.)
Early on, even before River was conceived, my husband and I would discussed what the first language of our children will be. We’ve decided that it will be Filipino. A lot of Filipino children nowadays sound like foreigners in their own country and it’s quite sad. It seems automatic for adults now to speak to little children in English.
So yes, we want River to be good in Filipino but funny that with all the books I’ve bought for him, I hadn’t bought any Filipino books yet, until now. I was thinking of what to give my cousin’s children based in the US and thought of books not available there. Like “My Quiet Book” cloth book from Urban MomUrban Mom, and bilingual or Filipino storybooks for the older children. Chanced upon Tahanan Books‘ free shipping promo for Mother’s Day! So there, saved me a trip to the bookstore, bought a few books for my nephew and niece, and some for River too 🙂 This is what I read to him today.
Here are the rest of the books I bought from Tahanan:
I would want to be called “Mommy” instead of “Inay” or “Nanay.” (Filipino for “mother.”)
It’s this article that reminded me on being intentional in River’s language learning: “How My 4-year Old Daughter Became Trilingual.”
This article suggests that each parent should only speak one language. Hmmm…. I want River to learn English and Hokkien as well. Hokkien so he can communicate with his grandfather. Mandarin also. I should read about being “quadrilingual.” I am “quadrilingual” perhaps, but I am not proficient in all four.
Here’s another article I’ll read in the future: Raising A Trilingual Child: Language Strategies
Will read more on being multilingual next time.
How is River?
My belly’s more baby than amniotic fluid now, and River’s as big as a honeydew melon. Majority of his growth now is more of fat. He’s also starting to build up waste in his intestines, so he’s ready to fill up those diapers when he comes out.
With less space in the uterus, River’s movements are turning from kicks and punches to rolls and wiggles. (from What do Expect website.) I do feel his rhythmic beating movements, which I’ve read could be hiccups or River practicing his breathing skills. My belly morphs to different shapes too as he moves, but I have yet to see the shape of his hand and feet as I’ve seen in some videos of pregnant women.
How Am I?
I feel significantly heavier and less mobile at the start of this week. I sleep a lot and I don’t feel guilty about it because sleepless nights are coming soon. Thank God for my very understanding and supportive husband.
Today, I learned what it’s like to waddle. I need to walk that way to make walking less painful. I started to feel some pressure below my belly when I cooked my lunch that it makes it hard for me to walk, so I spent the rest of the day lying down on my side, with knees rested on pillows. Later in the afternoon, when the pain is gone, I was back to being able to drive and went to the bank and drugstore for some errands.
For the past two weeks, I have been feeling like I’m in a tunnel, that there’s a covering on my ears. It’s like the pressure one feels on his ears while in an airplane. I can hear my heartbeat and I feel like I am going deaf. It’s been like that for more than a week now that it made me think maybe I’m going deaf or something’s wrong with my ears. I Googled it and learned that the feeling of stuffiness in the ears does occur to a few pregnant women, because of the hormones. It’s called pregnancy rhinitis. All the estrogen and progesterone can cause swelling of nasal tissues. But no worries, the feeling clogged ears will go away naturally. I am again a rare case – even my OB doesn’t know what it is – but I’m glad it’s nothing serious. Today, I barely noticed that feeling again, so I guess it’s finally gone.
This week we also finally decided to avail of cord blood banking. It was a choice between Stemcord or Cordlife. We decided to go with Stemcord. Though it is a bit more expensive, the total difference over a period of more than 18 years is negligible. We think that it will be more efficient to have connections in Singapore just in case we will use it in the future. We hope not to use it anyway, but we don’t want to regret not getting one in case some unfortunate health issues come up.
Ready to pop next week at the earliest! I’m officially starting to put the baby stuff I’ve set aside for River in our luggage. Wahhh! I do pray I’ll give birth on my 38th week, which is in about two weeks time. I’ve enrolled myself in a floral buttercream class for this coming Saturday, we have a family celebration too right after the class, a wedding to attend the following Saturday, and my husband has a major deadline to finish for school two Mondays from now.
River, we’re excited to meet you, but give Mommy and Daddy more time to get ready, ok? 🙂