30th Week: Moving Mountains

River’s been so active that there were a few times I would wake up in the wee hours of the morning, then couldn’t get myself to go back to sleep anymore, because he was moving too much.  Or rolling like a wave inside me.  He’s been doing a lot of somersaults and poking here and there, most probably with his elbows and knees, that I’m hoping he’s readying himself to be in a birthing position.

I don’t feel alone whenever I’m by myself, which is the case most part of the day, because River always reminds me he is in me.  The Filipino term for pregnant is “nagdadalang-tao,” which is very appropriate since it literally means “carrying a person.”  There are really two of us now and we are inseparable until he comes out and be ready to meet the world.

In French, they literally say “waiting for a child,” from the book Bringing Up Bebe.  Learning a lot of interesting insights from the book!  I’ve always imagined that River and I would be inseparable still even after I give birth.  But I learned from the book that babies also need “Me” time, and that they should learn to deal with their own frustrations and boredom.  And it’s not because the parents are lazy or negligent when they do that.  They are actually teaching their babies to be self-sufficient.  I’ve been excited to present River with different kinds of activities as early as now, but with that thought, I’ll remember to intentionally give him his “Me” time.

How strong is River?  When I’m seated and I would put a regular sized throw pillow on my tummy, he can actually move the throw pillow! He can make the throw pillow jump!  He did that one time two nights ago, and after that, I felt my chair move.  I first thought, was that River?  But realized that it was a minor earthquake since it wasn’t the pillow that moved, but the chair.  And the fan in front of me shook a bit too.

This strong little baby boy can move mountains in the future.  For now, he’s moving throw pillows and rocking my world.

The throw pillow that River pushes around πŸ™‚
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As for me, I’m feeling a bit heavy now, unlike before, because River’s growing at a faster rate now in the last trimester.  I try as much as possible now to not be on my feet all the time, especially when cooking.

I burp a lot too… hope it’s not going to be acid reflux or heartburn, which can be common in pregnancy.  I should watch what I eat too.

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Last Saturday, we had a maternity shoot, and family shoot, too.  We’ve always wanted to have a photo session with our talented photographer friend but we just didn’t have the right reason or occasion to have a photo shoot, until now.  It was supposed to be scheduled on our 7th wedding anniversary – sort of our anniversary celebration since we are not planning any trip anyway, and won’t be going on a trip anytime soon.  But because we wanted it to be with our families as well, as a gift to them too, so we had it a month earlier than our anniversary to meet everyone’s schedule.  The timing turned out to be perfect, because I don’t know if I’ll look fatter or bloated 8 months into pregnancy.  I feel like in my 7th month, I’m at my best, picture-perfect state of my pregnancy.  πŸ™‚

The photo shoot was fun!  We discovered that my husband was a natural model, and I was not.  I was worried about my chubby face.  My husband knows how to “project” and he got a lot of “good job!” from the photographer. πŸ˜€   The photographer was very accommodating with our ideas, but later on in the shoot I just didn’t want to suggest anymore (to save my energy hehe)  and let the photographer do his creative work of directing.  After all, he knows better and I’m excited to see how the rest of the photos turn out!

Our photographer, with our permission, posted one photo of our maternity shoot as a teaser. And I love the photo and posted it on my Facebook feed, which was a great deal for me because I am actually wary of posting pregnancy photos, especially early on in my pregnancy.  Aside from the reason that I don’t like to “overshare” on social media, we don’t know what will happen in June when I’m due, and posting pregnancy / maternity photos seem to be presumptuous that everything will be fine.  Our prayer is to have a safe delivery and a healthy baby, but we don’t know anything for sure at this point.

But no more over thinking or worrying – we just want to share our happiness and God’s faithfulness in our lives.  Whatever happens in June, what we know is that our loving God who holds our future is sovereign, and He knows what’s best.  I’ll just enjoy the moment and be thankful for what God has given to us – now, the present.

Our baby River at 7 months.
My healthy pregnancy though I have blood clot / DVT.
God’s provision in all things –
finances for my daily injections / medication,
guidance from our great doctors,
having supportive families,
friends who have been praying with us… the list goes on.

He is the God who is always with us and He has never forsaken us even though the journey was not always smooth.

The prick by prick journey to motherhood:  Almost filled bottle full of used needles. Two needles daily – one for aspiration into a 1ml syringe, the other, a smaller, gauge 27 thick needle, for injection.  Less than 70 days to go before my 40th week, so that means around 120 more needles to go into this container.  I’ll have to continue with the injections until 24 hours before I deliver.  After giving birth, I can now take oral medication for my DVT and no more injections! πŸ˜€
Not knowing or claiming positive thoughts that God will give us the best situation we desire is not a sign of lack of faith, I believe.  It’s a sign of faith on a great and mighty God, who knows how to give good gifts to His children.  It’s a sign of submission to His desire, His best intention for us.  We continue to lift up our heart’s desire to Him, for He said in His Word to ask and pray.  If He gives us our prayer for a safe delivery and a normal, healthy baby, praise be to Him who showed us favor, not because we’ve been faithful or great in our prayer, but because He is gracious.

Matthew 17:20 (NIV)
He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

The disciples couldn’t drive the demons away from the boy because Jesus said their faith was so little.  Yet Jesus said if they have faith as small as a mustard seed, they can move mountains… How ironic it was for Jesus to claim their faith was little and yet tell them that even a small faith can do the impossible.

As I recall from Rev. Edmund Chan’s book Growing Deep in Faith, faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains.  Quoting the author:

You see, the focus was not on the size of their faith but the size of their God…When will we learn that it’s not about us – it’s all about God?  The “little faith” they had was faith in faith itself rather than faith in God Himself… True faith, no matter how small, can do big things. Because it is placed in a BIG GOD!

We are often inclined to operate based on a faith that depends on our feelings – feelings of how “strong” or how “weak” our faith is – rather than based on a child-like faith dependent upon how mighty and how faithful God is!

Because no matter how small or weak our faith may be, the One whom we put our faith on is what matters – our great and mighty God.

By God’s grace, let’s move mountains together with Daddy, River! πŸ™‚

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