Thank God that an ectopic pregnancy was ruled out yesterday on my first ultrasound since I got pregnant. I saw the sac that carries my baby. By next week, we will see the heartbeat, the doctor said. I was shy to ask for a photo and my husband was not around to take a photo of the screen… well it’s still too early into my pregnancy to really see something that looks like a baby anyway.
Today’s urinalysis result was good too 🙂 No need to take antibiotics, just take plenty of water.
I haven’t spent my time wisely for the past days and weeks and I really feel bad about it. Literally bumming around / binging on Netflix a.k.a. relaxing or resting. No stress. I am entitled to it, or so I think – I have the perfect excuse. It turns out it is stressful to stay that way.
I’ve had this feeling before. Times when I was not employed, stayed at home, had to relax / do nothing, preparing to get pregnant. Pregnant or not, I do not like the feeling of being tired and empty for accomplishing nothing. Not literally nothing – a little work here and there – but I know I could have done so much more if only the temptation to passively watch one TV show to another, and not caring about other things weren’t so great.
I do spend time to pray and read the Bible, but I wish I would want to spend more time doing so. My appetite for entertainment ate up my appetite to spend time with the Lord and to be productive in my service for Him. This is not right, and I know why I feel restless. Pregnant or not. My heart is drawn away from what is essential, and that is the Lord.
I was glad to have time of Bible study with friends last night, and I am reminded that pregnant or not, only God’s love and grace and give me contentment, and can settle my restlessness.
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
– Count Thy Fount of Every Blessing
I thank God for the encouragement and renewed delight in reading His Word. I hope my little sweat pea will one say find true joy and contentment in Him alone 🙂
No, I am not entitled to waste my time. May God help me to be a good steward of the time He has given me.
Time to change things in my daily routine, set some goals, and have more discipline to make the most out of my free time. Here again is my dream list – the list of things I thought I would want to do when I was very busy back then with my work. I can finally do them now that I have free time! The funny thing is, now that I have free time, it turns out it is not easy to do them without much discipline. It’s easy to put things off and think that I’ll have plenty of time to do these things.
But again, I digress – going back to my dream list and hoping to accomplish them one by one, while waiting for Zara:
(1) read books – I haven’t finished an entire book for a long time now
(2) finish online courses – graphic design, writing for young readers, anything that interests me
(3) start creative pursuits (drawing and painting) – typography
(4) write (blog, children’s books, anything)
(5) finish unfinished stuff (the things I dread to do and keep on putting off )
(6) Christmas shopping list (esp. for our growing number of godchildren – shop online this time? 🙂
Exciting days ahead!